SOCKEY ON HOCKEY

Like John Kincade, only I know what the fuck I'm talking about!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Decoding GM Speak

Thrasher General Manager Don Waddle recently took park in the AJC's "GIMME 5" segment. It's a short blurb across page two of the sports section where some lackie asks a sports personality, or in this case a legend, some questions. Nothing more than entertainment value, but Thrasher fans should take a keen interest in Dan Waddell's answers. As always, I thought it necessary to put GM speak into something that even a suck-diver like you could understand, and one of our better investigative sources completed the following translation:

The Question: What are the Thrashers' 5 biggest off-season priorities?

What you read:
1. Sign prospects from previous drafts. All teams have to come to terms with certain unsigned draft picks from previous years and have them under contract by June 1 (which we did), or those players would go back into this year's draft.

What he means:
I put this one up top since we're not doing anything the rest of the summer. Besides, always lead with a positive.


What you read:
2. Free agency. We have until July 1 to sign our own key free agents, and after that point teams are free to negotiate with all unrestricted free agents from around the league.

What he means:
We hope Andy Sutton is off the pipe by then and that Kozlov remembers how fucking cold
Detroit is in January (and what a shit hole it is pretty much year round). Those of you who think we're going to even make an offer to Tkachuk should join Sutton in rehab. BTW, did you notice I didn't say what we plan to do in free agency? Good, cause we aren't doing dick.

What you read:
3. NHL entry draft. We have year-round preparations for the draft, and on June 22-23 in Columbus, Ohio, we apply what we have scouted to select promising young players and continue building our assets for the future.

What he means:
If I can find a bar in
Cowtown U.S.A., I should be loaded by noon Friday. I'll try to sober up by the third round on Saturday afternoon for our first pick. Do you think they have strippers or is that where the term Cowtown comes from?

What you read:
4. Grow the game. We continue to grow our fan base as we look ahead to raising the Southeast Division championship banner on opening night and showcasing the upcoming 2008 NHL All-Star Game being held in Atlanta. We will also continue to be active in the community, involved with our grassroots programs and connected with our fans.

What he means:
Until the ownership situation works itself out, we're not going to be spending a ton of money. We're hoping to distract you with a banner and the All-Star game.
Did you see the logo? That's a huge swoosh!

What you read:
5. Prepare for player camps. We have a prospect camp held at our practice facility in Duluth in July (6-16) and a rookie tournament we participate in September in Traverse City, Mich., which leads directly into the opening of training camp.

What he means:
My preparation involves getting a restraining order taken out on a certain '
fan' of Chad Denny's. That is second only to figuring out if there are any new additions to the menu at Headlines grill. I'm really hoping for cheese fries.

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