Like John Kincade, only I know what the fuck I'm talking about!

Monday, October 08, 2007

Atlanta's New Minor League Team

Hello bloggings reader! If you are looking for Atlanta Thrasher information, let me know when you find some! You can look at the Boobland Blog, an oft updated version of the Emperor's New Clothes. If this shill continues to tell Thrasher fans how great things are going, enough people will believe it to keep the building 1/2 full well into winter. Look at the bright side, with Chad Denny in Chicago, we don't have to keep hearing about how the fat kid is going to be the answer to the Thrasher defensive woes. Keep in mind that this is the same butt-taser that hated the Thrasher jerseys until he was on the pay roll! Heck there he's not the only one in Atlanta with his head up his ass, there's this wonderful piece from Thrasher broadcaster Darrell Eliot. In the USA Today's preseason hockey write up, he predicted that Pittsburgh Panther forward Evnegi Malkin would win the Rookie Of The Year Award. Wow, what hindsight! Mr. Malkin DID win the Calder Cup, during his rookie year. In 2006-2007. If you think that is bad, you should try to listen to him polish a turd on the post game show.

As you can see, when it comes to knowledgeable hockey news in Atlanta, there is a void, and if there is one thing I enjoy, it's filling voids. So with the Thrashers are off to a typical 0-2 start, and probably on the way to a 0 for October start, I am here to divert your attention away from all that for just a while. People want to know when I am going to post another pod-cast, but it is hard to put together 3 minutes of conversation about this team. I guess I could run down the roster for you.

#9. Pascal Dupuis- I used to pronounce his name like it is spelled. Harry Pohl corrected me, and now I love saying, "Du-pwweeeeeee!"
#10. Brian Little- Should be centering the 1st line, but the Thrashers are paying Toad White too much to play on the 2nd line.
#11. Eric Perrin- See #7.
#12. Toad White- I know it's only been 2 games, but why not just set a pile of money on fire? This guy should be centering the third line.
#13. Slobber Kozlov- He sounds like Borat when he talks. I like!!!
#16. Bobby Holik- He talks a good game, if you understand Czech. Went 130 consecutive games as a Thrasher putting out a half-assed effort. Could be a decent third line center.
#17. Ilya Kovalchuk- Enjoy him while he's here.
#18. Marian Hossa- Smart move not signing him to a contract extension, the Thrashers can't afford to keep him when they enter their rebuilding year of 2008-09.
#20. Steve Rucchin- Yes, he is still collecting a paycheck. They need to put him out on the ice and put the Thrashers out of their misery.
#21. Brent Sterling- He has not played much yet. Don't get me wrong, he'd skated for 13+ minutes in game one and 14+ minutes in game two. He just hasn't PLAYED much.
#23. Jim Slater- I thought they got rid of Derrick McKenzie??
#27. Chris Thornburn- Had 5 points for the Penguins last season. Added depth at our third line center position.
#29. Brad Larsen- As long as Bob Hartley has a job, so will this jug headed 4th liner.
#36. Eric Boulton- The team enforcer would probably be a better fighter if he kept his left up and didn't lead with his face.

#2. Granite Exelby- The Fred Flintstone of the NHL.
#5. Steve McCarthy- Reminds me of Charlie McCarthy on the blueline.
#7. Mark Popovic- Never heard of him.
#22. Ken Klee's nuthin' but a mother flippin' pylon.
#28. Niclas Havelid- Did you know he won a gold medal? The Thrashers' only decent defenseman averages 48 minutes a game.
#39. Tobais Enstrom- Nothing says FEARSOME like a 5'7" defenseman. The website has him listed at 5'10", but they must use the same measuring tape that Harry Pohl uses on his dong.
#77. Alexei Zhitnik- His name sounds like something you'd yell if you were on fire. He makes me miss Braylon Colburn.

#1. Johan Hedberg- Moose has done well backing up Kari Lehtonen, but there are hockey fans in Atlanta who believe the fans are booing him.
#32. Karl Lehtonen- He is a friend of the blog. Reads it often, and is even letting Turner Brown design and paint his new goalie helmet. They have decided on a Transformers motif. I suggested Hello Kitty, but rumor has it that Karl doesn't like pussy.