SOCKEY ON HOCKEY

Like John Kincade, only I know what the fuck I'm talking about!

Friday, March 11, 2011

A Response From Winter-peg!

The Staff at Sockey On Hockey (I'm not talking about Harry Pohl) has hired a guest blogger this week to provide a counter-point to last months bloggings. We've paid wpgguymb in two fours and curling stones to give us a Northern take on Southern hockey... If you're tweeting, you need to follow this guy, he's delusional!
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I'm writing this as a Winnipeg hockey fan. We are looking for an NHL team... any NHL team. That said, we'd rather have the Coyotes. We don't want no state "bird" you call a Thrasher. WTF is a Thrasher anyways? All I know about birds is that they are messy. They shit everywhere and lose a lot of feathers.

The Thrasher truly represents your hockey team which is a mess. Why would Winnipeg want a mess? We don't. The Thrashers are like the last girl at the bar, you see her but you're too drunk to realize how ugly she is and decide to take her home because she's the only thing left. I'm not sure about you but I dread waking up after the celebration party only to find that ugly pig stinking up our rink. I'd rather have the much prettier girl at the bar. In this case it's the Phoenix Coyotes. They have a good team, a team that is going to MAKE the playoffs. I'm sure glad they don't use, "GO DAWGS" as their cheer. That cheer can stay with some overrated football team at the University of Georgia. Is that the best cheer the fans could come up with? Sure glad I'm not exposed to that cheer on a daily basis, it's pathetic. I guess “git-r-done” was already taken.

I still want Atlanta to lose it’s team. You don’t support hockey, you don’t deserve hockey. I'm suprised the thought of chasing something black with a stick doesn't draw more fans down South. I'd think you'd have to close down the highways to keep everyone from Alabama, Tennessee, and South Carolina out!
I hope the Thrashers end up in Quebec City. That would suit the Thrashers, a crappy team in a crappy arena. However, I have no idea where these Quebec people get the balls to say they are going to get the Thrashers when they have an arena that belongs in a Third World Country. Come on Quebec, man up and build an arena first, then you may want to find someone who has money who can buy a team. Until that comes together, you have nothing but a wet dream.

Winnipeg is close to getting the 'yotes (or the Jokes as we like to call them), our arena is ready and apparently the ownership is ready. Now all we have to do is fly our Jets back home. I'm sure there will be about 3 Coyotes fans that will miss them, but they'll get over it and then maybe someone will give them an AHL team that they won't support -- NOT to be confused with the AHL-quality team that Atlanta doesn't support.

From what I hear in the media it sounds like someone is going to buy the Thrashers. Ya your local sports guy has some sort of inside knowledge that says it will be so. That went well for the Coyotes too, please Google Jerry Reinsdorf, Ice Edge Holdings and Matthew Hulsizer. Ya all those deals worked out awesome and now the Coyotes are just about extinct, so good luck to you with that. Well if you do lose your crappy hockey team you have that crappy football team to watch!

GO DAWGS… and take the Thrashers with you!

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

The Winnipeg News!!

It’s been several weeks since Michael Gearon, one of the 8-15 bumbling owners of the Atlanta Thrashers, Atlanta Hawks, and Philips Arena acknowledged that the Atlanta Spirit Group’s tenure as owners has been an abject failure. During a softball interview with one of his employees, Thrashers sideline reporter girl John Kincade, Gearon admitted that the ownership group had been lying to the fans for 5 plus years and that they HAVE been looking to sell the team to anyone who would take them. The only thing keeping the deal from getting done is that at the time they purchased the team in 2003 they signed an agreement with the NHL not to move the team for 8 years. That agreement expires at the end of the current season.


The rumours have been swirling for months regarding the Thrashers impeding move. As usual, Sockey On Hockey brings you the scoop on all of the inside details of the situation. Members of the Sockey On Hockey staff have been in contact with members of potential ownership groups for the last two years. For almost a year now, there have been reports that a group based in Winnipeg is poised to make an offer for the Atlanta hockey team. Over the past 11 years, the Thrashers have gotten used to playing in a half-empty building. This, and the fact they have never had a successful playoff run are the two things they have in common with the current Winnipeg hockey team, the Manitoba Moose.


In our discussions with these prospective owners, they have repeatedly listed out the reasons why the rebirth of the Winnipeg franchise will be a success for the city of Winnipeg and for the NHL. They’ve pointed out that Winnipeg is the 7th largest city in Canada, and with it’s 694,000 citizens, it dwarfs Atlanta’s 540,000 inhabitants.


While Atlanta can boast having the world’s busiest airport, there are also several major national and international companies headquartered there, including three Fortune 100 companies: The Coca-Cola Company, Home Depot, and United Parcel Service. Other headquarters for some major companies in Atlanta include AirTran Airways, Arby's, AT&T, Chick-fil-A, Delta, Earthlink, Equifax, Gentiva Health Services, Georgia-Pacific, Oxford Industries, RaceTrac Petroleum, Southern Company, SunTrust Banks, and Waffle House. With all this going for them, the local ownership group has been unable to entice any of them into a sponsorship agreement with the Thrashers, Hawks, or Philips Arena.


The Winnipeg investment group already have an NHL quality arena in place that holds over 15,000 fans and the potential owners from Winnipeg have already crafted a solid list of corporate sponsorships agreements with Winnipeg based companies Manitoba Telecom Services, Great-West Life Assurance, Boeing Canada Technology, and Bristol Aerospace.Unfortunately for the all of the diehard NHL fans of Winnipeg, this isn’t enough.


The fact of the matter is that the NHL has NO INTEREST in moving a team from a high profile city like Atlanta to a frozen shit pond located so far in the in the middle of a barren wasteland that you measure distance in hours. The typical Manitoban is not only fat and ugly, but plans their financial futures around their bingo winnings, and isn’t going to pony up the cash for season tickets and still be able to afford the venison, beer, and saskatoons being sold at the concession stands. Besides, the prospect of having Fred Penner doing NHL advertisements makes Gary Bettman throw-up in his mouth.

So here it is you mullet-headed, pronghorn poaching, snow farmers, you had your chance with the Jets and you pissed it away. If you’re looking forward to seeing NHL hockey, it’s going to involve an 8 hour drive to Minneapolis to see the Wild! Otherwise, head down to Portage & Main and spend some of that money you’ve been saving for season tickets and help out the local economy. Pay to watch the hookers urinate in the storm drains!



STUFF A SOCK IN IT WINNIPEG!